


Can I Quote You On This?

by Wix



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Consultant Tony Stark, Gen, Interview, MCU Bullshit, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Team Dynamics, Tony Stark Deserves Better, not team Cap friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 14:24:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13102035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wix/pseuds/Wix
Summary: Christine was sent in to just do a puff piece about the Avengers. What she uncovers instead is so much more interesting.





	Can I Quote You On This?

**Author's Note:**

> So apparently I'm just in a salty mood against the Avengers again, so I typed this up this morning!  
> Enjoy.

When she’d first gotten the slip for this interview – she’d fought it. A backstage look at the Avengers in their magnificent compound in the aftermath of the Ultron incident. Her editor had wanted to send a lower ranking reporter into the fray but they’d all been turned away. It was only when he’d attached her name to it that Tony agreed.

She likes to think that he trusts her to a certain degree, and apparently he’ll let her in for interviews and things that he doesn’t fully want to give just because she’s asking. If that’s not trust or friendship she’s not a hundred percent sure what is.

She’d been told that they wanted a wide angle story, a puff piece. Something tooth rottingly sweet to serve the masses on the front page about their ‘heroes’.

Her editor was going to be disappointed though, because ‘fluffy and building hope in the Avengers’ was not how this piece was going to turn out. Not in the slightest. Even if she’d ignored the dozens of red flags at the beginning of this interview, she’d still wouldn’t have a single good thing to write about these delusional assholes.

In fact, she was already considering an expose about how the world needed to stop looking up to shiny ‘heroes’ and realizing the very real, flawed human beings wearing the capes and how they shouldn’t put the life of a puppy in these people’s hands let alone the fate of the world.

She’d probably win a Pulitzer.

Christine bites down absentmindedly on the end of the pen in her mouth as she nods along with whatever ‘Golden Boy Steve Rogers- Captain America’ is saying. It’s a load of what he would probably call ‘hogwash’ and it’s insulting to be honest. These ‘values and virtues’ that he’s constantly throwing out sound good in theory, but put into practice like Rogers seems convinced is his calling to do is actually not helpful, tends to be backwards, and just really bad. There’s a reason why society evolved from his time, adjusting and learning – something that Rogers seems downright determined _not_ to do.

Tony’s given up at this point, interrupting and intervening on their behalf’s. He was on top of it in the beginning, jumping in whenever they started down a hot topic debate area and trying to steer the conversation back into safer waters…but the others keep cutting him back out of the conversation while laughing amongst themselves, and her by assumed proxy but they still haven’t realized that she’s not laughing, about Tony’s ‘fragile ego’ and how it just can’t stand not being the center of attention in all things. It’s a frustratingly sickening thing to watch how quickly they’ll throw the brunet under the bus – if they get started in a story and Christine points out a flaw in their retelling that makes it less shiny they immediately try to justify their response by quoting some ‘sin’ of Tony Stark that made it necessary.

It’s only previous experience dealing with tyrannical dictators and extremist religious leaders that keeps her eyebrows from rising in disbelief at the nods and murmurs of agreement that all of them participate in during these moments.

Christine can’t help the subtle glances she keeps sending in Tony’s direction, noting the brunet’s posture and emotional state as these teammates of his just drag him through the coals with a smile on their face and a laugh on their lips like this is some kind of awkward family dinner where it’s okay to rag on the black sheep.

She considers her options with this article. She could destroy them completely in a few keystrokes – hell, she could just put up the transcripts and call it a day and watch them destroy themselves – but it’s clear that there’s another side to the story here and Christine is more interested in it.

How do you get Tony Stark backed into a proverbial corner – get him to fund you, cover you, take care of you, design anything your heart desires – all while tearing him down and spitting on him while laughing like it’s all just good fun?

It’s a tantalizing piece, but not one she thinks she’ll write. Just like the reason that got her in the door – she considers herself at least friendly towards Tony Stark and following that train of thought would require pulling out Howard Stark’s many sins and seeing how a drunk, philandering war-profiteer’s presence created a man who would allow himself to be constantly bullied and torn down in his own home.

She figures that she can make _something_ up, or just tell her editor to listen to the tapes and determine to run anything else on the front page.

That was the plan, but then – then the bombshell of all bombshell’s gets dropped.

“I am curious about one thing.” She says, figuring that she’s going down a semi-safe path. “In all of the official images, Iron Man doesn’t appear alongside the Avengers. Is there a reason for this?”

“Well he’s not an Avenger.” Steve answers her and she pauses, her pen against the page. She’d figured the answer would be that Iron Man toys are the quickest to sell out amongst them all and Iron Man memorabilia holds a higher selling weight than Avengers memorabilia which is true. She’d thought it’d been a case of copy write.

“What?”

“Tony’s a consultant with the Avengers.” Steve clarifies. “He’s not an official Avengers member, so that’s why.”

“…a consultant?” She asks as she glances in Tony’s direction and there’s a look in his eyes that’s begging for mercy even though they both know that she’s not going to give it now. “So…Mr. Stark is not part of the Avengers lineup?”

“He didn’t pass the entrance exams.” Clint laughs and she turns her attention back to them.

“Entrance exam? What did that look like?” She asks as she puts the pen against the pad again. “An entrance exam will sound good in print, proof I guess that you’re all not just adding members’ lackadaisically.” She pointedly doesn’t glance in the Scarlet Witch’s direction, although she figures that the ‘Red Death’ would be a better call name for the doe-eyed little serial killer. (Christine can’t wait until _that_ story hits the presses.) “So, what happened?”

“There was rigorous psychological profiling.” Natasha Romanoff says and Christine doesn’t manage to stop the ‘are you shitting me’ look that she sends in their direction before glancing at Wanda. She catches herself eventually – and she notices the slight amused smile on Tony’s face at her reaction – as she turns her head down to write on her pad.

“I see. And how did that go? Did Tony go into SHIELD? Get tested by the best of the best?” Christine doesn’t mention how SHIELD was technically a fanatical order bent on world domination so really them saying that Iron Man needed to go far away was probably a point _in_ his favor rather than out of it.

“I was sent in to Stark Industries to oversee Tony in his natural habitat and report back.”

“Sent in?” Christine says. “So you were spying on him?”

“No, I was there to determine his credibility for the Avengers Initiative.”

“…by spying on him?”

“I was profiling him.” Natasha corrects and Christine nods slowly.

“Okay, so tell me how this profiling mission went? What were you looking for? What was your final determination?”

“I went into Stark Industries and poised myself in a position that would…attract his attention.” _Honeypot_ Christine’s mind fills in. “And when I was in his inner circle I observed his behaviors and reactions to the situation at hand.”

“What situation?”

“The Whiplash event.” She answers her and Christine cringes at the memory of all that chaos.

“Well shouldn’t Tony have been accepted based on his response time and success rate at the Expo?” Christine asks. “There were no lives lost and the area was contained.”

“He was erratic during the entire event, and a loose cannon. You remember the birthday party?” Natasha asks and Christine frowns.

“Where he got drunk in the suit?” Christine asks and Natasha makes a ‘there you go’ movement with her hand. “…but even drunk in the suit Tony didn’t attack or assault anyone. He behaved the same way he would if he’d just been wearing a normal three piece.”

“He destroyed his house.” Natasha tries to remind her, but Christine was there and that’s not entirely what she would say about what happened. Was Tony being reckless in the suit? Not really. Did he need to be showing off in a weaponized battle suit while drunk off his ass at his own birthday party? Certainly not.

“I remember it slightly differently. I remember War Machine arriving and escalating the situation.”

“He shouldn’t have let the situation get out of hand.” Natasha informs her.

“Okay…so that’s once incident, something that even I would say has been made up for in the interim.”

“It shows a deeper problem.” Natasha informs her and Christine wants to shake her head.

“And that was a problem that you didn’t register in any of the other members of the Avengers when you gave them this ‘exam’?” Christine asks and there’s a look that goes through them that answers her question. “Did the others get an exam?”

“Steve is Captain America.” Natasha says like that somehow gives him a hail mary. “Clint and I were SHIELD agents” _Which personally should have them pulled off in the aftermath of SHIELDRA and all that_ , Christine thinks to herself. “Sam proved himself during the Washington incident.” _When you lot broke into a government facility and stole government property to attack a threat that you didn’t inform outside parties of who could have assisted on American soil._ “Thor is Thor.” She says it with a smile and Christine doesn’t try to point anything out with that statement, it’d be far too easy. “Vision was approved by Thor’s hammer.” _Okay…are you kidding me?_ “And Wanda was rehabilitated.” _Good God._

“Okay, so let’s recap real quick just to be sure that I’ve got this all down correctly.” She says as she looks at her page. “There’s an entrance exam that apparently only Tony Stark had to undergo.” She looks at them for an agreement and continues when she kind of gets it. “An exam done by a government agency that had and has no real authority that ended up being Hydra in disguise.”

“There were a lot of good people in SHIELD too who didn’t know about Hydra.” Steve interjects and Christine holds up her hand to silence him as she continues.

“An exam that was done honeypot style during an event where, and correct me if I’m wrong, the subject was under heightened stress and _severe_ palladium poisoning which could impair response times and reactions, trust me I know because I wrote a piece on it – and yet despite these problems managed to save half a city with no civilian casualties and you’re telling me he somehow failed?” She looks up at Natasha. “How did you profile him that he failed?” Natasha seems to realize that she shouldn’t answer that question for the first time today and Christine looks at Tony. “Tony, what did the report say?”

“I don’t think I’m comfortable expressing that.”

“I could find it on the web I’m sure.”

“I really doubt that.” Tony fires back tiredly, but he sighs. “Classic narcissist and that I’m not a team player.”

“…Are you kidding me right now?” Christine asks and glances at them. “Okay…ignoring all of that. Please inform me of how your ‘rigorous psychological profiling’ admitted the Scarlet Witch onto the team?”

“That’s inside information.”

“I’ll bet it is.” Christine looks at her page. “So, the Compound is maintained by Tony yes?” There’s a pause before she gets some nods. “And your jets, cars, vehicles in general – maintained and provided by Tony as well correct?” She doesn’t get nods that time but she knows the answer. “And your battle suits? Upgraded and maintained by Tony?” Still no answer. “And your P.R.? Your legal department and all of that? That’s provided and maintained by Tony as well right?” She nods to herself. “And yet despite all of this, and despite the number of events that Iron Man has handled in the interim since the Expo, he’s still ‘Just a consultant’?”

“I think this interview is over Miss Everhart.” Clint says firmly and she slowly closes her notebook.

“Oh that’s perfectly fine. Trust me, I’ve got more than enough.” She stands up and gives them a smile. “Be looking for the article. I’m sure it’ll be front page newsworthy.” She looks at Tony. “Thank you for having me, would you mind walking me out?” She asks him and he nods, standing and coming over, taking her arm and leading her towards the door. “Tony, I know we’re not best friends or anything.”

“We aren’t?” Tony says and there’s amusement in his tired voice. “Darn, and here I thought you were.”

“No you didn’t…but they’re not your friends either.” She tells him and he sighs.

“You’ve only gotten half of the story Christine.” He informs her. “That’s not like you.”

“No…I think I’ve got more than enough.” She stops at the door and looks at him. “Want a word of advice, from one friend to another?”

“Sure.”

“…Run.” She says firmly. “Get as far away from them as possible.” He gives her a wan smile.

“Any way I can convince you to forget this interview and write a different one?”

“Not a chance.”

“Damn. Didn’t think so.” Tony says and she gives him a tight smile before she turns and walks out the door.

She has an article to write and a future Pulitzer with her name on it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Please feel free to leave a comment but I do ask no comments of a critiquing or negative nature.  
> Thanks guys.
> 
> And Update: Sorry guys. This will be the only story in this universe. I won't be writing a sequel. If you feel the urge or inspiration to run with it please feel free and let me know so that I can link you back! Thank you!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Continuation of Can I Quote You On This?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17777540) by [Ragingstillness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ragingstillness/pseuds/Ragingstillness)




End file.
